Two diaries penned by Anna Nicole Smith in the early 1990s reveal a troubled young woman deeply in love with her octogenarian husband and often depressed and concerned about her weight.
"I've been really stressed out lately and depressed and I can't quit eating. I feel like a pig," the former Playboy Playmate, who died February 8 in a Florida hotel from a drug overdose, wrote in an entry dated August 16, 1992.
The starlet's journals, made available exclusively to The Associated Press on Thursday, are among several pieces of Smith memorabilia going up for public auction in a few weeks by Heritage Auction Galleries of Dallas.
One diary is a purple and green Hallmark hardbound book that includes a handwritten message on the inside cover: "This diary belongs to Vickie Smith. Do Not Read!"
Smith, whose real name is Vickie Lynn Smith, noted -- in a freeform style replete with spelling and grammatical errors -- the beginning of her relationship with Paul Marciano, CEO of Guess Inc., where she eventually replaced Claudia Schiffer in the company's jeans advertisements.
"O my Gosh!! Paul Marsiano called today to see if I got his books also I'm gonna go to San Antonio to do photo shoot," she wrote on June 23, 1992. "I'm so excited!! I can't believe this. This could be it." The entry ends with five hand-drawn smiley faces.
Two days later she details a trip to a Neiman Marcus store where she bought $3,000 worth of clothing.
"I'm so happy they look great," she wrote. "I hope it empresses Paul Marsiano. ... I'm starving!! I've been starving myself."
By August, Smith revealed a disdain for eating and sex, and growing frustration with her husband, oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall II, who was 63 years her senior. The two married in 1994.
"I've been really stressed out lately and depressed and I can't quit eating. I feel like a pig. Howard has been buying me som jewelry but he call me 15 or 20 times a day it drives me crazy. I love him but he aggravates me somtimes," she wrote. "I don't no what to do about Paul hes strange guy. I hate for men to want sex all the time."
The entry ends with a large underlined "Chow!"
On June 13, 1992, she wrote that she was hung over and stayed home to watch a movie, adding that she "Took a Zandrex!" Zantrex is an over-the-counter weight-loss pill.
An autopsy report showed Smith died at age 39 from an accidental overdose of at least nine prescription drugs -- including a powerful sleep aid -- and that there was no foul play.
Her second diary is a much smaller spiral-bound paperback Guess Kids calendar from 1994. The individual entries are not dated but describe her relationship with Marshall, who was ill and died in 1995.
"Hes so very weak and fragile When I touch him Im afraid he might break," she wrote. "If Jesus desides to take him I dont no what I'll do. I love him so much it hurts me to site and watch him when hes hurting I just want to hold him touch him let him no how much I care."
After Marshall's death, the Texas high-school dropout who became an international sex symbol took her fight for his estimated $500 million fortune as far as the Supreme Court.
That ongoing battle could make her infant daughter, Dannielynn, very wealthy. Howard K. Stern, her lawyer-turned-companion, and two other men have claimed to be the baby's father.
The auction house obtained the journals from an anonymous German businessman who purchased them and other items on eBay for more than $500,000 several weeks ago.
Doug Norwine, director of music and entertainment memorabilia at Heritage, said the man decided to auction the diaries after securing the publishing rights. Opening bids will start at $20,000, Norwine said, and he expects the diaries to fetch as much as $100,000.