Leave the Academy Awards to the important movies in the serious categories. Here are a few bests (and worsts) that, regardless of the quality of the films in which they occurred, are much more fun:
Best fight/chase scene: The opening of "Casino Royale."
Best car chase: "Deja Vu."
Best naked wrestling match: "Borat"
Most ill-advised reprise of an iconic role: Tie between Sharon Stone, "Basic Instinct 2," and Sylvester Stallone, "Rocky Balboa."
Most incomprehensible Southern drawl: Sean Penn, "All the King's Men."
Best cleavage: Penelope Cruz, "Volver."
Best kiss: Kate Winslet and Patrick Wilson on the playground in "Little Children."
Best sex scene: The entire opening sequence of "Shortbus" -- because they're really doing it.
Best self-introduction: "I am Al Gore. I used to be the next president of the United States of America," from "An Inconvenient Truth."
Most needless sequel: Tie between "Big Momma's House 2" and "Jackass 2."
Lamest horror remake: Tie between "The Omen" and "When a Stranger Calls."
Biggest waste of Scarlett Johansson: "A Good Woman."
Best use of Lindsay Lohan: "A Prairie Home Companion."
Best actor playing a gay, suicidal Proust scholar: Steve Carell in "Little Miss Sunshine."
Most persuasive argument for clean living: Tie between "Thank You For Smoking" and "Fast Food Nation."
The life-imitating-art award: Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston in "The Break-Up."
Best-dressed man: Andre Benjamin in "Idlewild."
Best-dressed woman: Anne Hathaway in "The Devil Wears Prada" (post-makeover, of course).
Best dig at a guy who did not win the role of James Bond, agent 007: "Boswell. Nigel Boswell. 006. You know what that means?" asks agent Boswell (Clive Owen) in "The Pink Panther." "Of course!" answers Inspector Clouseau (Steve Martin). "It means you are one away from the big time."
Best use of Spandex: "Nacho Libre." (Sorry, Superman.)
Best excuse for a good cry: "Lassie"
Best soundtrack: "Marie Antoinette," a New Wave mix that includes Bow Wow Wow, Adam and the Ants and Siouxsie and the Banshees.
Biggest genealogical news: "You are the last living descendant of Jesus Christ!" Tom Hanks to Audrey Tautou in "The Da Vinci Code."
Best argument for everybody going down with the ship: "Poseidon."
Best withering gaze: Helen Mirren as Queen Elizabeth II in "The Queen."
Best performance by an actor playing a decomposing corpse through much of the movie: Jeff Bridges, "Tideland."
Guy with the most movies: Hugh Jackman ("X-Men: The Last Stand," "Scoop," "The Prestige," "Flushed Away," "The Fountain," "Happy Feet").
Hairiest actor: Robert Downey Jr. in "Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus."
Most memorable line: "Enough is enough! I have had it with these (expletive) snakes on this (expletive) plane!" -- Samuel L. Jackson in (you guessed it) "Snakes on a Plane."