Whether talking about practice...
"We're just out of the starting gate here. We're not even at the first furlong pole."
Or talking about a player...
"He might be one of those guys that blows himself up though."
Bill Parcells is unlike anyone else.
"Coach Bryant in Alabama, that's, for you young people, that's Bear Bryant."
New quarterback Drew Bledsoe is not immune to Parcellisms.
"He says his arm and his legs are ready to go. I said I hope you got your brain with you."
"I've got a good filtering system for when he talks to me," said Bledsoe. "I try to find the football knowledge in there and let a lot of the noise go by me."
Here's his response to why he got into better shape this offseason.
"I want to be able to stay on their #%@! everyday, is really what I want to be able to do. That's the best way I can put it."
On reacting to a comment from former Redskins quarterback Joe Theisman who said there's only so far at team can go with a bus driver quarterback.
"He had that Mack truck behind him named Riggins, remember that? John Riggins? So Joe was doing a little Ralph Cramden himself."
We're still trying to figure out where this comment about Fats Domino came from.
"21 gold records. 10 gold albums. From the Crescent City, New Orleans. The only reason I know all that is because I saw him in a show in Las Vegas one night and that was the announcement and I never forgotten it."
Here he is talking about trying to understand the mentality of a kicker.
"That's a college education onto itself figuring out those guys."
Reacting to a Miami Dolphins 330 pound defensive lineman who cried during practice...
"Hey, it's a human emotion. We all do it. That doesn't bother me, unless it's a woman that's crying, then I try not to pay attention."
On how a workout went with a wide receiver they brought in to camp...
"He's back where he came from right now."
He seemed perplexed that anyone would ask if tight end Dan Campbell could hurt himself by returning to practice after getting his appendix removed.
"You can't do anything, there's nothing left in there. What are you going to do? You can't pull it."
One of the biggest laughs of the week came when Parcells let slip about an un-announced scrimmage. 1
"He's begging me to get in the scrimmage on Saturday."
There's a scrimmage Saturday, we asked?
"I don't know that," he responded.
He explained why he was only going to allow the media to film 5 or 10 minutes of that scrimmage.
"You only got a two minute show. How much film footage can you use? You got other sports. You got to do baseball. That's half the time right now. Isn't it? Huh? You might throw boxing in there, hockey signing an agreement, you can talk about that. That gives you about 20 seconds for football."
If Hollywood made a movie about his life, which actor would play the role of Bill Parcells?
"Ask me something important. All right, I'm going to give you a name then. Ok. Probably Brian Dennehy."