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Couch Potato: Big slate of conference games appears amusing

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Cameron Artis-Payne brings a physical element to the Auburn run game. He has about 207 yards on 42 carries this year. (Source: Todd Van Emst/Auburn Athletics) Cameron Artis-Payne brings a physical element to the Auburn run game. He has about 207 yards on 42 carries this year. (Source: Todd Van Emst/Auburn Athletics)
Todd Gurley flashes a big smile on the Georgia sidelines. He's got a hurt ankle and may or may not see action against Tennessee this weekend. (Source: UGA Athletics) Todd Gurley flashes a big smile on the Georgia sidelines. He's got a hurt ankle and may or may not see action against Tennessee this weekend. (Source: UGA Athletics)

(RNN) - There are no great games like there were last week, but many this week are pretty good. And all but one are conference games, so they mean something.

Coach Potato gives this Saturday infinity-minus-1 stars on a scale of 1-to-infinity. Which means… no chores again!

The film we'll quote this week instead of making rancor-inducing predictions that make overwrought, under-socialized troll fans go on curse-spitting rampages will be the delightfully kitschy western Tombstone. It starred Val Kilmer as Doc Holliday, who completely upstaged a first-class cast including Kurt Russell, Sam Elliott, Bill Paxton, Powers Boothe, Charlton Heston, Jason Priestley, Michael Rooker, Billy Zane, Dana Delaney and … Billy Bob Thornton. That was back before anybody knew who he was and when he was a little chubby.

Wyatt Earp: You gonna do somethin'? Or are you just gonna stand there and bleed?

Georgia at Tennessee

3:30 p.m. ET, CBS

Tennessee, destroyer of Sun Belt titan South Alabama last week by a full touchdown and an extra point, has one hope and one hope only: that Georgia is thoroughly depleted after last week's 44-41 victory over LSU.

Not bloody likely. Aaron Murray may throw for 1 million yards against Tennessee's wonky defense, so keep a finger on the remote and flip back and forth to watch the fireworks.

Before the season, we told our co-workers and UT sympathizers Volunteer Dave and Big Orange Marshall that we thought Tennessee would be much improved this year and would probably make it to a bowl game. We may have been mistaken.

Wyatt Earp: Run, you cur… RUN! Tell the other curs the law's coming. You tell them I'M coming! And hell's coming with me, you hear?

Arkansas at Florida

7 p.m. ET, ESPN2

Florida, even after losing Dominique Easley to a torn ACL, still has one of the best defenses in the country. You want to know how good Easley was? Dude played defensive line and wore No. 2. That's a bad man.

Arkansas has a nice run game. Alex Collins and Jonathan Williams have combined for about 1,000 yards through five games. Florida's built to stop the run, so that'll be interesting for a while. Florida's cool, little jitterbug quarterback Tyler Murphy, who took over when the Vols snapped Jeff Driskel's tibia, continues to improve.

Arkansas held Texas A&M to 45 points, which is a better thing than it sounds like. Florida's kind of fun to watch in a play-ugly, wear-them-out kind of way.

Doc Holliday: Why Ike, whatever do you mean? Maybe poker's just not your game. I know! Let's have a spelling contest!

Ole Miss at Auburn

7 p.m. ET, ESPNU

Having been harshly reminded of the true nature of reality by Alabama last week, loquacious quarterback Bo Wallace and 3-1 Ole Miss, hanging in at No. 24 in the nation, travel to Auburn. The Rebs could use a boost before a nasty two-game October home stand against Texas A&M and LSU.

Auburn is rested and ready after a week off following a horrible first half that contributed to a 35-21 loss at LSU. AU coaches say they're shaking up the offense and defense a bit, but no notable personnel shifts have come about. Both AU and UM like to play fast. Auburn has a good offensive line and running backs, and Gus Malzahn's offense racks up about 440 yards per game.

Ole Miss' running game was nonexistent against Alabama – but Auburn's defense isn't nearly as salty as the Tide's. This will be a fun game.

Doc Holliday: I'm your huckleberry.

Missouri at Vanderbilt

7:30 p.m. ET, CSS

Missouri is undefeated by the grace of a schedule that featured grievous teams from the Ohio Valley, Mid America, Big Ten and Sun Belt conferences. Now it's SEC time and on to Vanderbilt, whose coach James Franklin does not need his team to drop to 3-3 if he wants to remain on the Southern California radar. Swimmin' pools, movie stars...

Johnny Ringo: I want your blood. And I want your souls. And I want them both right now!

The other ones: Georgia State (0-4) visits Alabama, which suspended All-American safety Ha Ha Clinton-Dix for unspecified team rules violations, so if you took the Tide minus-56 ... you're probably still good. Want to bet he's back in the lineup by Nov. 9? LSU heads to Mississippi State, which is known to play defense occasionally, and this might affect the outcome, but not really; Kentucky travels to South Carolina, which has announced that shoulder-injured QB Connor Shaw will start and play some, probably not too much because, after all … it's Kentucky.

Doc Holliday: [after he shoots Johnny Ringo] You're no daisy. You're no daisy at all.

Copyright 2013 Raycom News Network. All rights reserved.

  • Who is the best team in the SEC right now?

  • Thank you for participating in our poll. Here are the results so far:

    Alabama
    68%
    168 votes
    Florida
    4%
    10 votes
    Georgia
    16%
    40 votes
    LSU
    6%
    15 votes
    South Carolina
    0%
    1 vote
    Texas A&M
    2%
    5 votes
    Other
    4%
    10 votes
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