Line King bemoans lack of defense; LSU-Florida line skewed - - Tyler, Longview, Jacksonville |ETX News

Kids today don't play defense because they're soft says Line King

(RNN) - Does ANYONE play defense these days?

Look at this, will you: 70-63, 51-41, 51-44, 56-49, 45-43, 49-38, 41-36, 52-40 all sound like basketball scores, not college football games from this past weekend.

What causes this?

As my good friend and fellow crabby old man Donald Mills says:

"Young people are just too darned soft these days … for them, sacrifice is eating an unfrosted pop tart … or settling for less than an unlimited phone plan."

And so, apparently, is playing defense. There is no glory anymore in making a game-winning, goal-line stand and if you knock somebody into La La Land, you're liable to be penalized 15 yards, ejected from the game, scorned by the national media and suspended the rest of the season by some conference know-it-all with an Ivy League degree who never played a down.

Every game has to look like a live version of Xbox (right down to the tacky uniforms) and we as a nation have no patience for defensive slugfests and grinding it out mano a mano. We've gotten uber-soft too.

The Line King remembers watching the Browns beat the Cowboys 5-3 in the cold, drizzly pig-slop of old Memorial Stadium located on the shores of a polluted Lake Erie. Seriously, 5-3! It was hard to discern who was who on our 19-inch, black-and-white living room TV. We talked about that game for days – mainly because it was the only game televised that whole week.

Today, ESPN would cut away to another game "of interest" or the viewer can just change the channel to one of hundreds of games broadcast at that particular moment – including the epic clash of New Mexico Highlands vs. Oklahoma Panhandle, just in case all else fails.

And don't think the $EC is immune to softness either - the defensive units of Mississippi and Arkansas have the resistance of wet paper tissue. It's embarrassing.

Last week we turned the corner and have begun to press The Man down. Now is the time to keep him down as long as possible.

All times Eastern:

Oct. 6, 2012

Arkansas at Auburn (-10), Noon, ESPN/ESPN2

Talk about soft. The Razorbacks define the term. "Quit" is another term you can use, as well. Everyone has the Arkansas game circled this year - even Kentucky and Mississippi. Auburn will actually look like a contender this weekend, then it's back to the reality of hoping they can make it to the Liberty Bowl. Take the Tigers/War Eagles/Plainsmen.

Mississippi State at Kentucky, 12:21 p.m., SEC Network

Again, this is a perfect example of college football overload on TV and what a waste of time, money and effort to care about. Unless you are a Mississippi State fan, you are not going to watch one down of this game and you might not if you are. The Kentucky fans abandoned their team weeks ago, so count out the Louisville and Woodford Reserve lovers crowd – which includes The Line King. There is no line as of now, but whatever it is, take the Bulldogs and click back here for the results Sunday morning.

L$U at Florida (+3), 3:30 p.m., CBS.

Rolling over Towson is not my idea of "rolling" over anyone. Wins against Washington, Idaho and North Texas aren't even worth mentioning. Florida has a bit of revenge on its mind this year, too. The Gators have looked pedestrian in their first two home games, but played like champions in their two road games so The Line King almost fell of his chair when he saw the Gators at +3. Take it and run.

Texas A&M (-11.5) at Ole Miss, 7 p.m., ESPNU

With all the talk about the two new teams having to "ramp up" their efforts to compete in Conference Death Star, when is somebody from the $EC-worship crowd going to ask "when can we get rid of Mississippi?" One indication of your status in the cult: you are an 11.5 point underdog AT HOME!!! Oddly enough, this is the third team with "Texas" in their name playing in Oxford this season. The Line King is surprised that West Texas isn't also on the Black Bear schedule. Aggie freshman QB Johnny Manziel looks like the real deal, too. Aggies treat Mississippi like a WAC team and cover.

Georgia (+2.5) at South Carolina, 7 p.m., ESPN

Wow, this might be a good game to watch. Even The Line King might succumb to the sultry siren call of ESPN's latest sideline babe. Historically, this has been a tight match-up, but the Dawgs haven't covered the spread the last five years. Richt versus The Ol 'Ball Coach seems like a mismatch too. Game is in Columbia. That's exactly why The Line King says "Hunker Down Dogs, time to pull out the hob-nailed boot and kick'em in the throat." Dog fans put away the "For Sale" signs for one more week.

Vanderbilt at Missouri (-7), 7 p.m., FSN

Missouri welcomes perennial $EC power: Vanderbilt. Pathetic fact of the week: Vandy is 4-17 in $EC road games (two wins against Mississippi – what a surprise) the last 5+ years The only question is not whether Mizzou covers (they will), but will they pull out those egregious, roller derby-looking helmets again. Mizzou livens up the conference a bit too, kind of like Uncle Festus does at Thanksgiving dinner. I am sure Darth Vader $live will put an end to it or has already. Can't have his teams looking like the roller derby.

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