Fireworks for pirates, car enthusiasts, and those who curb their - - Tyler, Longview, Jacksonville |ETX News

Fireworks for pirates, car enthusiasts, and those who curb their dogs


It seems everyone who manufactures products these days tries to market them in a way that appeals to a certain individual. Fireworks are no exception.

With many of last year's fire restrictions removed fireworks should be hot this year, and they have something for everyone.

Twenty years ago fireworks popped or boomed or rocketed showering sparks in the air. Many things, as they have tendency to, have changed, and Crazy Ray has all the changes in stock. They're geared to car lovers, pirates, horror fans, and people who make blonde jokes.

[Click the photo to view the video]

Crazy Fireworks - Chicken

Crazy Ray Simmons said, "It's not fair, but even fireworks have jokes about blondes. I haven't met any women who did not like fountains, but the men want the big stuff that goes into the sky and explodes. The reckless is for the car people. While we have it it's our problem, if you buy it, that's your problem."

Ray sells "The Vengeful Texan". Does anyone make it out of that?

"No. Stand back. There are no survivors," he answered.

"It always ends the same," I observed.

"It does," he agreed.

There are fireworks geared toward juveniles young and old.

"We have the chickens that blow up balloons," Ray stated.

"We've got the climbing pandas, the mini-lasers, the sliders, and the throw-down poppers. People say you can't buy happiness, but in the fireworks business you can. We have a little happiness, or we have a lot of happiness. It's just according to how much happiness you need," Ray said.

They even have one called the news transmitter.

"The news transmitter shoots out 21 times. It looks like a bunch of swallows flying in the sky, and they're cackling with a bunch of noise," Ray said.

I'm not sure I like that one. I'm not so sure about the puppy with tummy troubles, either.

They made very creative use of one of those snake pellets. We didn't show it in our broadcast version of the story, but the clip is here on so you can watch it over and over again. Just click the picture below.

Crazy Fireworks - Dog

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