Trinity man's classified ads keep town entertained

By Morgan Thomas - email

TRINITY, TX (KTRE) - For months, Kirk Lorenson has made a weekly trip to buy a classified ad in his local paper, advertising hot items like slightly used caskets and murderous spider monkeys.

"Every week I got something crazy," Lorenson said.

His ads bring a smile to small town folks' faces.

"I have people saying it's the first thing I look for in the paper - all that crazy stuff," Lorenson said.

He got the idea after visiting his wife's family in Tyler. There, a newspaper column caught his eye. It profiled humorous life experiences.

"I thought it would be kind of fun to write little things in our newspaper," Lorenson said. "Not as long as him. He writes whole articles."

Just a short ad in the classifieds, but they pack a punch, and riled up some Trinity residents.

"The first ad that he put in was something around Halloween time and he something about a coffin and a lot of people got offended by that," said Kathy Faulkner of the Trinity Standard.

The paper started getting calls. So they had to make a change.

"We told him to put his own phone number that way if they're offended they can call him about it, instead of telling us," Faulkner said.

Some people call him thinking he is serious. Lorenson loves playing along.

"Usually, I act like I'm a small town idiot sometimes," Lorenson said. "Play the part. Act stupid as heck."

Every Thursday, Trinity Standard readers open up their paper to find out what Lorenson came up with this week. A recent ad reads "professional bird watcher instructor: $25 to learn the difference between red birds, blue birds and black birds."

His antics are catching more than Trinity's attention. Last week an article made it all the way to the Tonight Show.

"Couldn't believe it," Lorenson said.

More motivation to keep the ads coming.

"Had a lot of people call when they realize its a joke and say, 'Man, that's what this world needs is more laughter,'" Lorenson said.

It's a niche, he says, this small town needs filled.

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