There's a couple of places you are likely to find Dr. Tim Kimmel. In front of a computer writing best sellers...are talking to parents about the subject he writes about. Last month he was doing just that at Tyler's Grace Community.
For almost three decades Dr. Kimmel has studied kids and their parents. He admits that it's harder to be a parent today than years past.
"There is no doubt about it," says Dr. Kimmel, "there are far more distractions to today's parent. There are far more things to intimidate them. So much of our culture and the things that bombard us remind us how inadequate we feel to raise up to a future. And that causes us to fall into a default mode that many times puts our kids on a performance basis. We are consistently measuring them."
That says Dr. Kimmel is parents first and biggest mistake.
"Clint, I see parents primarily focused on health, education and welfare when it comes to raising their kids. And although those are very important things the bigger job we have is to connect to the heart of our children and imprint that heart with the values to set them up to live a life that makes a difference."
"I really believe that the more parents can understand that they have been given a God given mandate to take these children and connect to their heart. Imprint that heart with a great deal of security, significance and strength so that child can grow up and have an enormously impactful life."
Kimmel says to many parents have outsourced their child's future to a school or church. To turn the ship around is not easy. Kimmel suggests parents live out the values that hope to pass on to their children.
"We need to raise kids who have humble hearts. And kids who have grateful hearts. Kids of have generous hearts and kids who have servants hearts. That's completely different from the success illusion." Kids need to see us living out our faith, consistently. Under stress, that's where they need to see it. Because anybody can pull this off at church. And there is one word that I think summarizes the way that we need to temper our hearts when it comes to our kids and that's grace. That when we embody the true grace of God. And when we...I wrote a book called "Grace Base Parenting" because I believe that is the most reflective of the way God parents His kids. The only thing graced based parenting is, is treating your kids the way God treats His kids.